Discovering Memories
by rockstarhobbit
Summary: ABANDONED. Almost two years after returning from the life altering crash, Seth still can't come to grips with his memory loss, or the changes that had happened while he was gone. But does he really want to remember?
1. Prologue

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: This is just an overview of "Stranded Memories", that way if someone just wants to read this, they have the background information and don't have to read the uber long story before. Teehee. It may be a while until I actually write the first chapter, but here is an overview. This part is in third person, and the rest will be Seth's POV until the end… teeheehee… it could also be used as a refresher… anything in ()s are the sidebars that Seth doesn't know the full details on, but they're important to the story…

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**Prologue**

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Seth Cohen used to have a short temper. Seth Cohen used to run away from everything. Seth Cohen nearly ruined his life with those two things. When he caught his brother making out with his "girlfriend" and his girlfriend with his aunt (don't forget his parents wanting a divorce) he fled.

To Sydney, Australia.

There he met Aerin Jenkins, a nineteen year old girl who was out on her own. They became friends and shared an apartment. Seth nearly forgot about his old life in Newport. He liked his new one so much more.

It wasn't until one afternoon that Aerin found his old cell phone and began playing with it. He had countless messages. With a little convincing from Aerin, he checked his messages. Many of them were from Summer or Ryan or his parents convincing him to come back. It wasn't until he reached one of the messages that he really cared that much.

"Seth… Seth… damn it to hell Seth… turn on your cell phone… I know you have it off! Seth... please… don't… Seth… its Ryan… Seth… its Ryan… he's… Ryan… he's…" It was at that point that the phone cut off. Thinking the worst, he figured that Ryan had been killed.

He explained everything about his past to Aerin and the two of them rush to the airport to get on the quickest flight back to L.A. as possible.

Unfortunately, there is only one seat left on Oceanic Flight 815, and Aerin told Seth to take it. He wasn't sure of it, but she told him to, there were many flights from Australia to L.A., she'd just get on another one.

So Seth gets on the plane with 174 strangers, just hoping for a smooth ride to L.A., to the home he had forgotten. But the plane crashed on some island in the middle of nowhere and of the 175 passengers, 48 survived.

Back in Newport, Kirsten Cohen is very upset because Ryan still refuses to wake from his coma (which was induced by the car crash he was in with Summer. She is also upset because Seth has yet to call. When convinced to go home, she plays the messages and hears a voice she never expected to hear again.

Seth's.

She was so excited she could barley breath. Her baby was coming home. Her and her husband (Sandy) rushed to LAX, only to find that Seth's plane never came in. It is here where they met Aerin, and first heard that Seth's plane mysteriously went missing.

They were devastated. Aerin moves in with the Cohen's for the time being.

Back on the island, Seth is helped to recover by the help of Jack Shephard (the resident doctor), and got very upset at the fact that he was stuck on this island instead of home with his mother and father trying to get them to forgive him for just running.

Seth soon befriends a fellow castaway named Sawyer. The two seem like an unlikely pair to be friends, but being the two outcasts, they seem to get along quite well. It is Sawyer who finally got Seth to open up about why he was so upset, but Sawyer then gets in trouble for making Seth break down.

Seth moved to the caves and met Ethan Rom and Charlie Pace. He decided that he liked it at the caves and decided to stay there. Claire Littleton (a pregnant woman) begins having nightmares, but Seth doesn't want to get in the middle of it, so just wanders around.

He finds himself in bad situation when he is wandering around and finds Ethan trying to kidnap Charlie and Claire.

Ethan tries to convince Seth to help him kidnap the two and ends up forcing him to. But before Ethan could do anything, Seth runs and gets caught in a trap in a tree. Ethan laughs when he finds it and cuts Seth down and Seth now knows he has to help or he's not the only one that is going to be hurt.

Ethan lets Seth alone with Charlie and Claire and he tries to help them escape only to get caught as soon as Ethan comes back telling Charlie and Seth that one of them is going to have to die. Seth says to kill him, but Charlie fought it. Seth loses his temper and Ethan says something that convinces Charlie that Seth is evil, just like Ethan, and hangs Charlie from the tree.

Ethan leads Seth and Claire away from the hanging Charlie.

(Not too long later, Jack and Kate stumble upon the hanging Charlie and cut him down. He doesn't' remember much, but he does remember that Seth was there, and what Ethan said about Seth being bad. He wants to kill Seth. Sawyer's the only person who doesn't believe Charlie's story.)

Back in Newport, Kirsten gives up any hope that her son is alive, and locks herself in her bedroom. Sandy finally convinces her to eat and Aerin and Summer have their first encounter and Summer finds out first hand that Seth was on the plane that crashed.

Summer ran to the hospital to tell Ryan everything, in hopes that it would make him wake up. When Kirsten comes home from talking to Summer, she discovers that Aerin is pregnant with Seth's kid.

September 22nd comes quicker than anyone could have hoped. Seth's 18th birthday. Sandy goes down to LAX only to discover that they called off the search for the plane. The entire Cohen-Cooper-Nichol clan (minus Ryan of course) go to the memorial service as well as Alex, Summer, Aerin. Of all people, the Nana gets Kirsten out of her depression and now she does believe that there is a chance that Seth is alive out there somewhere.

Meanwhile on the island, Seth thinks he was forgotten about until suddenly he comes in contact with a very unpregnant and upset Claire. He comforts her. Not only did they 'kill' Charlie (whom Claire was very close to), but they took her baby too. Ethan interrupts their conversation and tortures Seth for either just being himself, or for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When getting back to their holding place, he is in pretty bad shape, and realizes that it's his birthday (according to his watch).

Two days after his birthday, Seth devises a plan to get Claire to escape. At first she doesn't want to do it, but he convinces her. Ethan comes and tries to take Claire, but Seth won't let her, and gets punished for it. When he gets back, Claire is gone, and he feels relieved.

(Claire escapes and rushes through the jungle. She is found by Locke and Boone where she passes out. When she awakens she finds out that Charlie isn't dead, but that no one likes Seth. They think he is evil. She tries to convince them of that, but they wouldn't hear of it. She gets annoyed and rushes off into the jungle. Charlie follows her.

Meanwhile, Sawyer is just off meandering, he is met by Ethan who is quite angry that Claire is gone. He tells Sawyer that if he doesn't get Claire back that he is going to kill Seth. Ethan knocks Sawyer out.

When he wakes up he is alone, but not for long. Claire meets up with him and he tells her what Ethan had said.)

After the memorial service, there is a get-together at the Cohen's and Summer learns that Aerin is pregnant with Seth's kid. Of course like any Newport party, fighting breaks out, and Summer passes out after drinking way too much.

Kirsten and Aerin get some bonding time while watching soaps until they get a phone call from Summer. Ryan was awake.

They rush to the hospital. Ryan was very confused. He didn't know that he was out for six weeks. The 'reunion' between Ryan, Sandy and Kirsten is very emotional.

They tell Ryan about what happened to Seth and he can't believe it.

He gets out of the hospital earlier than he is supposed to and Summer drives him to LAX. He sees the memorial and he believes that they're all dead. Summer doesn't agree with him. While there they get a phone call from the Cohens. Kirsten thought that Ryan was trying to run. He wasn't.

Aerin leaves to go back to Sydney and Kirsten and Sandy talk about getting a gravestone for Seth but Kirsten won't hear anything of it.

The next thing Seth knows, Ethan is back but is acting really different. It doesn't take him long to get angered. Using the somewhat more relaxed state, he shoved a syringe in Seth's arm and he blacks out. He has a crazy ass dream about Newport. (see Chapter 18 of "Stranded Memories" if you wish for more background information on the dream).

(Meanwhile, Claire gets very very upset, because she knows that people are worried about Seth. Charlie continued to follow Claire. They find Ethan. And right next to him, tied at the wrists, hanging from a branch over the water was Seth. His head hung down limply and he was blindfolded.

Sawyer won't give up Seth or Claire, so Ethan gives him five seconds, and he doesn't know what to do. The fives second pass and he cuts the ropes hanging Seth and he falls into the water. Acting on impulse Sawyer dives into the water.

Ethan takes advantage of this and tries to take Claire, but it stopped by Charlie shooting him in the arm. Claire gets even more upset as seconds (which felt like minutes) passed and there was no Seth or Sawyer.

Luckily, Sawyer gets Seth out of the water and gets him breathing again. Charlie runs off to get Jack and Sawyer and Claire carry Seth back to the caves. When they get there, everyone is shocked to see the soaking wet Sawyer and Seth, but there is no Charlie.

The next day Jack and Kate go looking for Charlie and Seth wakes up. His arm is broken.)

When he wakes up, he has no recollection of what happened. He remembers getting on a plane, and figured out that the plane had crashed. He hears talking about things he doesn't understand by people he doesn't know. To say he was scared was an understatement.

Time passes and Seth discovers he has problems sleeping. He found his bag and the remains of the comic book that he and Zack had been working on. It is then when he finds something to do other than be confused. When Walt becomes interested in his comic book he lets him read it. Much to Walt's surprise, Ethan and Charlie are in the comic book, even though Seth has no real recollection of them.

Jack confronts Seth. In their conversation Seth hears screaming. Jack doesn't hear it. He continues to hear the screaming all through the night. Seth feels that everyone else thinks he's going crazy, so he rushes off to try to help whoever it is that is screaming. Jack and Claire follow.

Seth stops running when he sees Ethan and Kate (of course he doesn't recognize Ethan). Ethan had shot Kate and she was bleeding pretty badly. Jack and Ethan get into a fight and Seth puts a protective arm around Claire. Ethan gets the upper hand, but is stopped when he is shot multiple times in the back by Charlie. Kate is dead.

Charlie points the gun at Seth and getting more terrified, Seth jets.

He gets lost. It starts raining and Seth knows he's gonna die, but before he falls asleep, he feels someone pick him up.

Chrismukkah back in Newport is anything but enjoyable. Kirsten is back in a depressive slump, and Ryan tries to get her out of it. It doesn't work and just gets her more upset. Summer, Ryan and Sandy begin to eat and are joined by a very angry Kirsten, who seems to now be blaming Summer for Seth's disappearance. They spend the rest of the night watching old home movies of Seth and their home in Berkeley. It snows that night.

Two weeks later, the snow has melted and Sandy and Kirsten decide to buy a tombstone for Seth and have their own private memorial service. Ryan doesn't like the idea, but after talking to Marissa and Summer, he decides he can live with it. It rained when the 'buried' Seth. A lot of people came, including Luke, Anna and Aerin. Afterwards, Ryan knows that Seth will come back.

Seth wakes up and is burning up, and feels like shit on top of it. Someone was helping him, but he didn't know who it was. He tries to thank whoever it is, but only gets into trouble for talking. He overhears a conversation he wasn't supposed to.

Once again Seth wakes up, only this time feeling much better. He finds out that the person helping him is named Libby and that they've been stuck on the island for a very very long time. Libby takes him towards the caves where he overhears a conversation and it is then that he knows he wasn't wanted or needed there anymore.

Four months later, Aerin has the baby and they all go to Australia to visit her. While Summer and Sandy didn't show how much they were scared, Kirsten and Ryan didn't bother to hide it. Ryan uses Princess Sparkle to get through the plane ride. They make it through and were greeted by the Australian memorial. Aerin named her son Donald Ezekiel Cohen.

It seemed to make everyone happier. They visit the old apartment Seth and Aerin shared. They went home.

A year after the crash, a transmission is heard and the search starts again.

Time flew by for Seth as he got more and more accustomed to life with Libby and her husband. One night he awoke to screaming and explained it to Libby. He drug her around the jungle as the screaming got more and more intense.

He spotted Shannon crying in the middle of the jungle alone and chose to go help her than stay with Libby and them anymore. Shannon tells him that Boone was killed. He comforts Shannon and goes back to the beach with her. Seth is alone and depressed and starts blaming himself for everything.

Charlie, Claire and Sawyer get him out of his depressive slump.

Aerin came to visit the Cohens and brought Donnie along. Ryan proposes to Summer. Aerin gets depressed and jets, leaving Donnie with the Cohens.

Seth and Sawyer become the pranksters of the island and everyone gets sick of it, until a boat comes to rescue them and Sawyer surprises everyone by burning everything in the camps. They get mad and then they spot the boat. There were only 15 survivors.

More time passes and it was Seth's 19th birthday. The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 had been found! Sandy, Kristen and Donnie go to LAX while Summer and Ryan go to Seth's grave.

At LAX 13 people come off of the small plane, Seth isn't there. Kirsten gets upset because she thinks that Seth is actually dead. He simply didn't want to deal with the cameras and such and left with Sawyer. They met up with Summer and Ryan at Seth's grave. Summer tells Seth he's a dad and he blacks out.

When he wakes up, he hears his parents talking in the background and never was so glad to be home.

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A little under two years pass and Seth fell into the father role better than he thought he was going to. Summer and Ryan got married and so did Charlie and Claire. Charlie and Claire moved into the old Cooper house and now live nextdoor to Seth. Aerin has yet to come back. Sawyer lives in the pool house.

He doesn't remember anything that happened with Ethan (except for the killing of Kate). Sometimes he wishes he remembers, but not really.

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A/n: Sorry this is just one long run on thing. Haha. Not everything is that important, but it gives some background knowledge. Unfortunately, Ali isn't helping write this one, so bare with me, I'm not very good at Newport… xD. I'll post the first chapter after I write it…

And the survivors are: Seth, Charlie, Claire, Sawyer, Jack, Sun, Jin, Walt, Hurley, Shannon, Sayid, and some redshirts.

Please review if you're still interested in this story!


	2. Almost Perfect

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: This shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S! At this point in time, Seth is 20, almost 21… and Donnie is… uh… 22 months old.

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"**Almost Perfect"**

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_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…_

What? My eyes opened so slowly it wasn't even funny. And it was dark. Very dark.

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…_

All right, all right! I rubbed my eyes with my hands and rolled over and grabbed my cell phone.

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…_

I just stared at the front of it for what seemed like forever. "Shannon's Cell" was flashing on it. What did she want?

Before the damn thing could ring again I flipped it open. "Hello?" I asked, sounding half dead.

"Seth?" she asked, sounding really upset.

I didn't respond at first as I turned over to look at the clock. Three AM.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked irritably.

"I'm sorry, but… but… I needed to talk to someone, and you were the only person I could think of that wouldn't mind that much…" Correction, she sounded really upset.

I yawned loudly. "I'm up, what's wrong?" I asked.

Crying was heard on the other end. "Shan, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I… I can't help you." I sighed. This wasn't the first time that Shannon had called me in the middle of the night or morning as the case may be. The first time she called, she called the house phone and woke up dad, not a good story. I thought it was funny, neither of them seemed to.

That was why she now called my cell.

She took a deep breath. "Can I… can I come over, please, I need… I need to talk to someone." I was about to say something, when she interrupted me, "And not over the phone."

I knew she didn't live _that_ close to my house, but she could already be driving.

"Just be careful, okay Shan?"

"Okay," she said, before hanging up.

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I was beginning to get worried when it was 7 AM and Shannon still had yet to arrive. Of all the people from the crash (that weren't living near me), she was the only person that really visited often. She and Sayid split not too long after getting rescued, but as far as I know they're still good friends.

I had the TV on and all that was on were those lousy infomercials that are selling stuff that no one is ever going to want. They were somewhat interesting, I guess. Okay, not really, they were really boring.

I looked at the clock again. 7:02. I could always call Ryan and Summer, but they were probably in class. Damnit.

I could wake up Sawyer, but he'd be pissed, and pissed Sawyer isn't much fun. So I just sat on the couch and watched the stupid infomercials, hoping that Shannon would get here soon, or at least call.

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It wasn't that long until Shannon arrived. I could hear her car pull up into the driveway. But no door slam, no nothing. Slowly, I got up and walked over to the door, leaving the infomercial all to its lonesome.

I opened the door and saw Shan's car, with her inside of it. I was glad that she was okay.

Slowly, I walked over to the car and sat down in the passenger's seat.

"What wrong Shan?" I asked. Her head was just resting on the steering wheel. I reached over and pulled the keys out of the ignition. She didn't answer me.

"Shannon, why won't you talk to me?" I asked, trying to get her to talk. It didn't work. I sighed loudly. I didn't really know what I could say to make her talk. "Please Shannon, you're scaring me… what happened?"

I heard her whisper it, but I didn't know exactly what she had said. "Come on Shan," I said, rubbing her back. I needed her to talk.

She sighed and I could hear a sniffle. "My step-mom kicked me out…" she said simply. I knew that wasn't all of it. It was really getting to me. Shannon knew she could trust me. That must have been the only reason why she called me and came over.

"That's not all of it Shannon," I said simply in response.

She looked over at me. I could see the mascara stains down her face. She must have been crying for a while. "Remember Dave?"

"Your boyfriend?" I asked. She nodded in response.

"He… he… he hurt me…" she blurted out. Before I could control myself I pulled her into a half hug (seeing as that was all that was possible in the front seat of a car) but I could still feel her muscles tense up.

"I'm so sorry Shannon."

"What are you sorry for? He was an asshole." She said, with a slight forced chuckle.

"Because, you deserved so much better than that," I said. The words that came out of my mouth were the first things into my mind.

She sniffled and looked like she was about to start crying again. "Shannon?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do!" she said, letting the tears break. "My step-mom won't let me back in, because she keeps blaming me for Boone, and I can't go back to L.A. I just… I don't know what to do…"

I took a deep breath. "Don't worry about it Shannon. You can stay with us until you get back on your feet." I knew I wouldn't mind, my parents didn't care either. Then there was the fact that there was Charlie, Claire, Sawyer, my parents and me that could help her.

"Really?" she asked in disbelief. Did she really think I wasn't gonna let her stay.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I said, letting her go.

"You can sleep in the guest room and just hope Dave doesn't' ever show his face around you again, okay? Sawyer'll teach him a lesson…"

She laughed, genuinely.

"Some things never change, do they Seth?"

"Nope."

She smiled and slowly got out of the car.

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After Shannon got settled in the guest room, she was quick to fall asleep.

And I was still tired. So I climbed up the steps to my room and collapsed in my bed. I was gonna sleep until noon.

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Noon came much faster than I expected. Like five minutes later.

"Daddy," I heard. Donnie. He had a knack for coming in right when I needed sleep the most.

"Yes Donnie?" I asked turning around to look at him. God, he was growing into a mini-me, more and more. For some reason I could only really see myself in him. Aerin wasn't really seen in him, but he acted like her sometimes.

Sometimes I missed Aerin, but it had been so long since she just ran. Donnie was my son, and only my son. She didn't really raise him as much as I did.

The boy didn't say a word as I looked at him standing in the doorway of my room, sucking on his thumb, and holding Captain Oats in the other hand. I couldn't help but smile. "Come here," I said.

He scurried over to me. "Now why aren't you in bed Donnie?"

He shrugged and I laughed. "Good reason," I said, trying to be serious. He smiled slightly. He wasn't very talkative which was very odd, but I did get him to say "grandma" and "grandpa" as well as "daddy." That was about the extent. I knew he knew more words, because he understood a lot of what I was saying, he just didn't vocalize that.

I was a little worried, but he had time yet. He wasn't a very talkative kid. He must have gotten that from Aerin.

"Do you want to sleep with daddy?"

Donnie nodded his head vigorously and I smiled.

"Okay, now we're gonna sleep, okay?"

He nodded sleepily before curling up into a ball next to me. The sun was slowly beginning to rise, but I didn't care. Donnie fell asleep pretty quickly, still holding Captain Oats tightly. That horse got a lot of wear.

I couldn't believe how much and easily I had gotten accustomed to the fact that I was a father. At first, I didn't think I could handle it. But Donnie was just, Donnie. Even as a baby he began to grow on me, and I learned quickly.

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_My eyes opened groggily to the sound of crying. I had just gotten off of Shit-Hole Island and so lovingly told by Summer that I had a son. A son. For crying out loud, how the hell did I get a son? I got up slowly and walked over to the crib (that I didn't notice in my room before)._

_I recognized it. We had it in the attic. It was the old crib, from when I was a baby. At least that was what mom said when I asked about it when we were moving out. _

_Looking down into it, I saw a little baby. Okay, maybe not little, but it was a baby, that was for sure. This must have been my kid. Me, with a kid? I couldn't believe it. When I had I been so stupid and irresponsible to end up with a kid? _

_Obviously he was Aerin's son. I could see her in him. Aerin. I wondered where she was. I hadn't seen her at all. And if this was her son, then obviously she should be around here somewhere, right?_

_The kid continued crying. No one was coming. Even though I didn't know what to do, the crying was getting really really annoying so I picked up the baby. He wasn't as heavy as I thought he was going to be. _

_I was still very lost as to what to do with a baby, so I began rocking my arms. He cried louder. Shit. This wasn't going to work, what was I going to do? I had a son. Holy shit. _

"_Uh… umm… yeah…" I said just as Summer walked in._

"_I see you're up," she said._

"_Yeah." I responded._

_Cue awkward silence. I hated awkward silences. They were so awkward. _

"_Having some trouble Cohen?" she asked._

"_Yeah," I stated truthfully. She giggled and took the bundle of a baby from me and slowly began walking around and singing softly. _

_I had never heard her sing before. It wasn't really that bad. I've heard worse come out of my mouth. _

_She sat down on my bed._

_I remained standing. This was really awkward. Summer was holding MY kid, but it wasn't her kid. It was Aerin's right? It had to have been. _

"_Seth," she said quietly as the baby settled down._

"_Yeah?" I asked. _

"_His name is Donnie."_

"_Donnie?" I asked with a laugh. "As in Donald?"_

"_Donald Ezekiel Cohen…" she responded._

_More silence._

"_So he's my kid then."_

"_Yeah."_

_Shit._

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Now looking back on it, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Donnie, or Donald (oddly he didn't answer to Donald. I didn't blame him), was really just amazing. I learned so much from my mom and Summer and even Claire at times that I didn't think I could handle it.

But I could, and now, he was just, my kid. My son. And I loved him.

The only problem was, Aerin never came back. Mom explained to me that she just left about four months before we were rescued and we never heard from her since. Her family didn't hear from her either. She just fell off the face of the earth.

Sometimes I missed her, and other times, I didn't.

Right now was one of those times. I twirled my finger around Donnie's brown curls and looked at the wall. This was a perfect life. Well, almost perfect. There were two things missing. Two things.

The stranded memories and Aerin. And both were bound to come back sometime. Things like that had to come back. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

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A/n: I know how this is gonna end, I just don't know… how to get there. I hope you liked that. In the next chapter will be mainly about Donnie (because I love Donnie… xD), and will feature "Sticks" and "Asshole"… tee hee… gotta love Sawyer.

alexis - Yes, the rest are in their respective homes.

paige fan - Haha.

The Pirate Illusionist - Yeah, I noticed that to, and I fixed it. I was exhausted from work… sorry.

snoopy - I incorporated it into this chapter. :D

IY-ROX - Yeah, it does seem wrong.

Volvic - yes, the show goes on… Sayid isn't dead. I couldn't kill Sayid, I love Sayid. Michael died, for some reason… I haven't gotten that far yet. As for Walt… Walt was taken in by his… step-dad. And yes, Sawyer in the pool house. We'll see his direct influence on Donnie and Shannon in the next chapter. I messed up the survivors list. Hence why Sayid wasn't on it and neither was Shannon. I was half dead while typing it up.

Please read and review! It's the reviews that keep me writing quickly!


	3. Some Things Never Change

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: I'm sorry it took so long to update, everything came on at once. xD

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"**Some Things Never Change"**

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By the time I woke up again, Donnie was gone. A quick glance at my watch told me it was much later than noon. More like two in the afternoon. With a loud yawn, I got out of bed.

Slowly, I made my way down to living room. Shannon, Sawyer and Donnie were all sitting on the couch, watching Saturday Morning Cartoons. A small smile cracked on my face. It was just the way things worked on a Saturday morning. You get up, and you watch cartoons. There was no other way.

It amazed me how Donnie could sit still long enough to watch cartoons for hours on end, but as long as it wasn't Barney or the Telletubbies or whatever other stupid little kid shows I could think of, I didn't have a problem with it.

I eased my way down into the chair and Shannon and Sawyer looked over at me.

"Look what the cat drug in," Sawyer said with a smirk. Shannon giggled.

"That wasn't funny," I said icily.

"SHHHHHHHHHH!" came the voice of an angry Donnie. The three of us laughed really hard.

He shushed us again.

There were some things about Donnie I knew I would never understand.

"Do you know what today is Seth?" Sawyer asked quietly seeing as he was the one sitting closest to me.

"Saturday, duh," I said sarcastically.

"Saturday, meaning you and Charlie are going to go and find you a girl," he said with an eyebrow raised

I just glared at him. "I don't need a girl. Besides, I have Donnie."

Sawyer burst out laughing uncontrollably. "That is sooooo wrong Seth," Shannon commented before getting enthralled in the cartoons once more.

"You need to get over Aerin man," Sawyer commented. I knew he was right, but I didn't have the time for a girl. Sure I got a very nice amount of money from Oceanic for all the pain and suffering and whatnot I went though on the island, but I just didn't have the time.

"And you agree with that, don't you?" he added, getting up. "Let's go, we're going to get ready."

"Get ready, are you crazy, we won't leave for a while, will we?" I asked, hoping that there was time to get sick so I didn't have to go.

"Seth, it's going on three o'clock. Charlie'll be here at five."

"I'm not a girl, I don't need two hours to get ready."

"I RESENT THAT!" Shannon shouted angrily, only to get shushed by Donnie, causing her to giggle quietly.

"We need to talk, now." And with that, Sawyer literally drug me out of the living room.

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We sat down out by the pool. It was a clear, sunny, average Californian day. "What was so important?" I snapped.

"You."

"What about me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow that had yet to become overgrown and bushy like dad's, thankfully.

Sawyer just looked at me. "You. You need to seriously get over this girl."

"And this was what was so important?" I snapped. I was still tired and cranky.

"You've been moping around for the better part of the last two years almost," Sawyer said, actually sounding serious for once in his life. "I know that she pulled you out of a rut, and I know Donnie is her kid, but you really need to get a grip on reality. She left. She didn't care. You're just making things worse."

I just looked at Sawyer. He was making some sense, but I didn't care. I knew he was worried about me, everyone was, and I was just sick of it. Him, Charlie, Claire, my parents, even Ryan and Summer, when they called. It sucked. I was going to be 21 soon, seriously, I didn't need so many freaking babysitters.

"You know I'm right, don't you?" Sawyer asked, smiling triumphantly.

"Shut up," I snapped, not knowing what else to say. Deep down, I knew he was right, but why inflate his ego even more? It was already bigger than Newport.

Over the time that he had spent living in the pool house, he had gotten a pretty good reputation for himself. The party crasher. I would have joined him, had I not became a father literally overnight. But he would go to every single Newport party and just get drunk all to hell, and hit on just about everyone.

It was actually quite funny.

My mind went back to the topic at hand. "I am right!" Sawyer said, once again, not bothering to hide the face. "You know that getting over Aerin would be the best thing for you… and Donnie."

Why did he have to bring Donnie into it? Why? "Donnie needs a mother figure. Kirsten and Claire and Shannon don't count either Seth."

"So you're telling me to go out and find someone and just marry them so that Donnie can have a mother like figure? That is stupid."

He just looked at me. "That isn't what I meant stupid. I mean you really need to try and forget like she forgot, you know? Because it can't be healthy for you or Donnie. Am I the only one that noticed that all that weight you lost on the island, you're the only one not to gain it back? Hell, even Shannon did! And this is Shannon we're talking about."

I could almost hear Shannon yelling 'I RESENT THAT,' but she wasn't around to shout that.

"Fine, whatever." I said, getting up.

Sawyer stood up with me.

I began to walk away.

"And Cohen?" he said, sounding serious as he walked up behind me after I stopped.

I turned around. "What?"

Without a second of warning, he pushed me into the pool. I felt some of the chlorine water going up my nose. Well, as least now I didn't need to get my sinuses cleared out. I broke the surface of the water and pushed the excess off of my face. "What the hell was that for?"

Sawyer just smiled. "You reek!"

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Five o'clock came sooner than I could have hoped. Thanks to Sawyer, I went and got a shower and now was all ready. Maybe this time Charlie wouldn't have to drag me out of the door like before. Maybe this time I would go willingly.

Maybe.

I sat down on the couch. Donnie had fallen asleep in the chair after watching a DriveShaft DVD. I swear that kid had some serious problems. He wouldn't watch anything educational, and always begged to watch that DVD. Well, not really begged. He'd grab it and shove it in my face until I got so annoyed that I wanted just put it in anyways.

I just looked at him.

"He's a cutie, isn't he?" Shannon said, walking behind the sofa.

I chuckled halfheartedly and nodded. When he slept he looked like Aerin. No. Bad Seth. No thinking about her tonight. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

"Just like his daddy," she said, trying to sound all cutsey-wootsy.

"Not funny Shan," I said, with a sigh.

She slowly sat down next to me. "You don't want to go, do you?" she asked.

"Maybe." I replied.

"If you're worrying about Donnie, I'll be here, and Claire."

I laughed. That wasn't what I was worried about. "And Sawyer," I reminded her. She laughed.

"But Sawyer doesn't count," she smiled. Could it be any more obvious. Geeze. "Just have a good time tonight. Don't worry about anything. Unwind Cohen."

"I will," I sighed as I heard the doorbell ring. Great, Charlie was here. Maybe I could fake sick. No, too late for that.

"Ready mate?" Charlie asked, as he bounded into the living room, not worrying about not waking Donnie or anything. Claire followed him in, laughing slightly and shaking her head.

She hugged me, a friend's hug. "Have fun," she smiled.

"Oh definitely," I said sarcastically as Charlie pulled me out the door. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Donnie.

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Charlie and I made it to the Bait Shop without getting sick, or hurt or anything. Damn.

I was starting to get that bad feeling deep down inside of me again. I couldn't explain it. "Let's go Seth," Charlie said, getting out of the car. I closed my eyes and sighed. Push Aerin out. I had to keep reminding myself to do that. I opened my eyes and got out.

I was going to have fun tonight, and that was all that mattered.

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The night was relatively uneventful, as were all the other "Seth-needs-a-girl" operations were. I figured it just wasn't meant to be. I had loved twice, and both times I had my heart torn out and trampled on. Maybe I was just supposed to live in this world alone. Besides, as long as I had Sawyer, Shannon, Charlie, Claire, Ryan, Summer and everyone else I was bound to be all right. I didn't need a woman in my life.

I was fine without one.

Yeah, right. That was me trying to delude myself. Donnie needed this as much as me, but it didn't mean that I was about to put up an effort.

Charlie came over to me. I don't see why he was the one who always came along. He had a wife and everything, but he was so keep on making me forget, that he insisted on coming along all the time.

"Any luck?"

I shook my head.

"Yeah well, you'll find someone." Always the optimistic one Charlie seemed to be. "Fate'll play a part, I promise you that." He said with a small smile.

Again with the fate stuff. Fate meant nothing. There was no such thing as fate, there was no such thing as destiny. You made your life, it wasn't already planned, although there were quite a lot of things that I could have easily blamed on fate, but I never did.

I just hated the thought of not being in control.

"SETH?" I heard someone shout loudly from the other side of the bar.

My head spun around. No way. I stood up, looking like a dear caught in headlights. She hadn't changed a bit. I hadn't seen her in forever. Her hair was still blonde, her eyes still the same. Everything was the same about here, except for her hair. Her hair was different.

She rushed over and pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh Seth, I was hoping to run into you while I'm here." I hugged her back, a huge smile on my face.

Any thought of Aerin was pushed out of my mind.

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I spent the rest of the night talking to her. Charlie seemed proud; too bad he didn't know that we were old friends.

I hadn't been this happy in a long time. And of all people I couldn't believe that it was her that would make me fell happy again. After she moved away, I only saw her once or twice before the crash and only once or twice since we got rescued.

"So what are you doing around here? Pennsylvania too cold?" I asked with a small smile.

"It's summertime Seth, it is as hot there as it is here," she smiled, taking a drink.

I laughed. "How are Summer and Ryan doing, I hear you guys are all going to the same school and everything." I felt a bit downhearted. I was supposed to go to college with Ryan, Summer and Marissa, too bad that never happened. Actually, at the rate I was going, I was never going to have to work, ever again.

Thanks to the wonderful settlement from Oceanic.

"Pretty good. They're inseparable, it's kinda cute."

I sighed. I really didn't want to hear that, but as long as they were happy, that was all that really mattered. "They complain a lot though," she admitted.

"What do they complain about?" I asked.

"You," she smiled sweetly.

"Me?"

"Yeah. You know, how you should move out to Pennsylvania, go to school. You know, instead of just spending time with all of you 'new' friends. They don't really like that." And they couldn't tell me this to my face? "They don't get it."

There were a few moments of awkward, unwanted silence, before she broke it. "But I understand."

She smiled and looked at her watch. "Wow, it is getting late."

I didn't look at mine. "Wanna come over to my place? I know you haven't been there since the wedding."

"I'd like that Seth," she smiled.

Together, we walked out. This was quite an odd experience. It seemed like forever ago that I had to choose between her and Summer. When the possibility of Seth Cohen and Anna Stern was the same as being in a plane crash, surviving and being stuck on an island for well over a year. Now neither of them seemed as impossible as I originally thought.

Aerin was the last thing on my mind. Maybe I had succeeded in finally pushing her out, even it was only for a little bit.

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We made it back to my house when I realized that we had left Charlie there. The thought was almost laughable. He was going to come back and be so pissed. But maybe it was worth it.

No, it was definitely worth it. Harassing Charlie was so much fun. And so easy too.

We walked into the house silently. I could hear Donnie chattering away with Sawyer and Shannon. My heart broke a little bit. Why didn't he talk around me? I didn't get it.

"Come on Donnie, Sha-non…" Shannon said.

"Wanga…" Donnie said.

Sawyer laughed. "That is too hard, Sticks."

"STICKS!" Donnie's voice rang through the air. I stifled a laugh. I wish I could have seen Shannon's face.

"That's right Donnie, Sticks!" I heard Shannon slap Sawyer, and from the sound it made, it must have hurt.

"You are such an asshole!" Shannon shrieked.

"Assssshooolllee…" Donnie said. So that was why they were teaching my son. I was going to have to teach them a lesson.

"Now that was mean!" Sawyer said angrily.

"Sticks… Asssshoollle… Sticks… Asssshooolleee.." Donnie said, almost making up a song. Yeah, that wasn't obvious. Even Donnie could see it.

I looked over at Anna who looked like she was about to burst any second. I nodded my head upstairs and she nodded.

We made it up to my room undetected. I hadn't really changed it.

"Wow, if this isn't nostalgic," she giggled.

"That wasn't funny," I said, mocking hurt. She hit me playfully.

It was like nothing ever changed. It was like I had never chosen Summer, it was like she had never moved away, it was like I had never been in the plane crash. It was like someone had turned back time.

"Betcha I can still whoop your ass at video games," I said suddenly.

"You're on!" she laughed. We both grabbed a controller and I put in a game. It was one about pirates. I couldn't remember what it was called or anything. But it was about pirates. And I was winning.

"Donnie is sooo cute," Anna said randomly at a point in the game.

"Uh… thanks?" I said, not quite sure of what else to say.

"Quite the chatterbox, like his old man…"

"Yeah," I said uncomfortably.

"What is it Seth?" she asked, pausing the game.

I looked over at her. "He doesn't really talk around me. I don't really understand it."

"Oh," she said.

More awkward silence.

"Wanna watch Star Wars?" I asked, trying to make the silence stop.

Anna looked at her watch. "I really should get back to my hotel room."

I felt my heart sank. I don't even know why it sunk, it just sorta did. "Are you sure? Because Hotel Cohen is still open."

She smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure. Besides, it looks like you have a full house already."

"I guess," I admitted.

"I'll see you around Seth," she smiled as she walked out.

Needless to say, some things never changed. I felt wanted… needed… when Anna was around, and I liked that feeling. I didn't feel like I was some charity case. I liked that.

And I missed Anna too. I just didn't realize how good of a friend she really was.

I really hoped that she was here to stay.

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A/n: That was longer than I thought it was going to be. What happened to all my reviewers?

swede85 - Haha.

Volvic - Where is Aerin? Not… there… XD… At the moment he is a full time dad, but that is hopefully gonna change…

IY-ROX - Haha, yeah…

sUmMeRiTh - No Shayid? AHHHH! What am I gonna do? Haha, just kidding. While I love Shayid, idk… and Aerin… life can't be too perfect… sorry…


	4. I'm Sorry

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: I'm sorry it took so long to update, everything came on at once. xD

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"**I'm Sorry"**

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The week that Anna was supposed to spend here, turned into weeks when she got the internship with whatever-her-name-was, the fashion designer that lived in Newport. I was seeing more and more of Anna than I had ever thought I'd see again. While she was always busy, we'd always meet up for lunch every now and then and just talk about the stuff that had happened since they had parted ways.

And needless to say, a lot had happened.

While Charlie wasn't mad about me leaving him at the Bait Shop weeks ago, he was still quite angry that it wasn't his doing that 'found me a girl.' I kept telling him that Anna and I were old friends, but he kept insisting that we were perfect for each other.

"I just keep falling back into the old Newport Anna, don't I?" Anna laughed one day when we were having lunch at the crab shack.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I said with a chuckle.

"Ask Summer and Ryan, when I was in Pennsylvania, I was such a different person, letting my hair grow out, everything… and now that I'm back, I'm morphing into the old Anna again, you know what I mean?"

I shrugged and looked over at Donnie. This was the first time since Anna came back that I had brought him to the crab shack for lunch. While he didn't really eat anything there, he loved looking at the walls, because they were different than the ones at home.

Thankfully, I brought him along, because Donnie was the one who broke the silence that had fallen over the two of us. "CRAB!" he shouted joyfully causing both Anna and me to break out into hysterical laughter.

"That's right Donnie, a crab!" Anna laughed. "God, he is so cute Seth!"

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Anna had to cut lunch short because she had to be going back to her internship, but she said she'd stop by my house later on. So now, I was sitting around the house, listening to Sawyer and Shannon fight.

Mom and dad were sitting in the living room as well.

"You know who they remind me of honey?" my dad asked.

I glared at my father. I sincerely hoped that this wasn't going where I thought it was going to go.

"Who?" my mom asked in return.

"Seth and Summer, remember those days?"

I sighed loudly as if to tell them that I was still in the room. The two of them just laughed as Shannon and Sawyer began shouting again in the background. I was too tired to listen in anymore.

But I heard my mom and dad laughing every now and then. They must have still been listening. Obviously, they got the biggest kick out of it.

Slowly, I felt my eyes dropping as sleep wanted to take over me. I had already put Donnie to bed, so I could go to sleep anytime I wanted to, but something wanted me to stay awake, so I remained in that limbo type area between being asleep and being awake.

That was, I stayed there until the phone rang. Slowly, I awoke from the sleepiness, only to realize that my mom had answered the phone.

"Seth, it's for you," she said, handing me the phone. I took it groggily.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Would you accept a collect call from Eliza Jenkins?" the automated voice on the other end asked.

Aerin's mom? Why would she be calling me? "Yeah," I said groggily, blinking a few times and sitting up.

The phone clicked over. "Seth?" I heard Eliza's voice like it was yesterday that I had last heard it. Maybe they had found out where Aerin was. The only problem was, she sounded really upset.

"Yeah?" I asked, wondering what the hell was going on.

"I figured… I figured you deserved to know too…" she said. I could hear that she was holding back tears.

"What's wrong?" I asked, now openly worried about the older woman. Maybe I was the wrong person to handle it. I looked back over at my mom. She would have been better at this.

"Steve… he was killed… in a car accident. I just… I thought you should know… he… he liked you a lot…"

I was shocked. I was in shock. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't understand why tears were beginning to form in my eyes. I never really considered myself that close to Aerin's father, but he was dead. I felt so bad.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jenkins," I said, not quite sure of what else to say. "I'm sooo sorry…"

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A/n:This is gonna turn interesting, isn't it? Sorry it was so short…

The Pirate Illusionist - Seth has a girl… two girls actually…

DeuCe628 - Sorry about the wait…

IY-ROX - Yepper pepper!

Swede85 - Haha, it'll all be fixed… we just need to get Aerin in the picture somehow… xD

emogeek1 - No, just Summer and Ryan… Marissa has fallen off the face of the earth… haha, just kidding, but Marissa is not with Summer and Ryan, she's somewhere else… Summer and Ryan are angry because they think that Seth has totally forgotten about them, but that is coming up later…

Volvic - Because Sawyer doesn't want to have to remember. If that makes sense. In Newport, around people from the crash, he doesn't have to remember his life before the crash, he can just forget?

Harper's Pixie - Shannon and Sawyer? You've got to be kidding me! Hota ka. Haha. This chapter was a major plot twist…


	5. Crash and Burn

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: I'm sorry it took so long to update, everything came on at once. xD

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"**Crash and Burn"**

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The next day, I sat in the car. We had spent a fortune on last minute plane tickets. Anna couldn't go, but it was me, Donnie, mom, dad, Charlie and Claire. And needless to say, I was terrified. I hadn't been on a plane since the one that crashed, and I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't do it.

I was going to die on the plane, like I was supposed to on the last one. My eyes were closed but my leg still tapped impatiently. "It's gonna be okay Seth," Claire said comfortingly.

"Sure, that's what you say!" I snapped. She wasn't helping, nobody was helping. I felt Claire put a hand on my arm, trying to get me to calm down.

This was just horrible. I didn't want to do this. I couldn't do this.

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Sooner, rather than later (like I had hoped) we were sitting in the airport. We were early. We weren't going on Oceanic. But I still felt quite jumpy. I was sitting in one of the uncomfortable airport seats. This wasn't exactly where I would like to be. Mom was holding Donnie since I was in absolutely no shape to be doing anything.

I was a mess to say the least. "I can't do this…" I kept repeating over and over again.

"Yes you can do this Seth…" my dad said, trying to calm me down.

"No… no I can't. I'm gonna die!" I said, sounding like a panicked little kid.

"You're not going to die Seth!" Charlie said. "Claire and I went back and forth from L.A. to Australia so many times, and we're still here. You'll be fine!"

I had to think for a little bit. He did have a point, but still. I was afraid of what was going to happen when I got onto the plane. I was afraid of what was going to happen when the plane took off. I was afraid of what was going to happen when the plane was in the air. I was afraid that the plane wasn't going to make it to Australia and that I'd be stuck on some shit hole island for another year!

I didn't want that to happen!

"No… everything is just so… it's so similar! And it is scary!" I said, biting my lip and looking at the ground.

"What?" my dad asked.

"Why did I come home? Because I though Ryan had died. Heck, Claire was pregnant. She's freaking pregnant again, and I'm going to Australia because my ex-girlfriend's dad died! Don't tell me that that isn't just a little creepy!"

My dad was silent. I heard Charlie sigh. "We wont let anything happen Seth, promise!" Charlie said with a smile.

I didn't believe him.

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"_Good morning, sir. How may I help you?" the lady asked._

"_I need two tickets on the soonest plane leaving to L.A." I said quickly and simply._

"_Sorry, I can't do that." she said._

"_WHAT?" I snapped angrily. They had to be fucking kidding me!_

"_There is only one ticket left on the flight…" she said._

"_Take it Seth…" I heard someone from my left speak up. I turned to come face to face with Aerin. "I'll get on a later flight…" she said._

"_Are you—" she cut me off._

"_Yes. Take it…"_

"_I just need a photo identification, a passport and a credit card." the lady said. I nodded and reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I got out the credit card and the School I.D. Now where did I put that passport? I reached around into my backpack and pulled it out of a back pocket._

"_One second," she said, taking all three. I turned to look at Aerin._

"_Just go Seth, you need it more than I do…" she said, looking straight into me. How could I fight with that? I simply nodded. She grabbed me and hugged me tightly, her blonde hair getting into my face. I hugged her back. She was my foundation, and I leaned on her._

_The lady called my attention back to her. "Now I just need your signature here… here… and here…" she said, pointing to three spots on the paper. I didn't worry about reading them, I just signed it._

"_Thank you Mr. Cohen. You are on flight 815, and it leaves in… half an hour. I would hurry Mr. Cohen." I nodded a thank you and grabbed Aerin._

"_Are you sure…" I asked her once again. She nodded again. "Don't worry about me. I will take care of everything. And I guess that I'll see you in Newport again…it's only a few hour flight." she laughed._

_I put my arm around her and we headed over towards the security check. This was where we had to depart. I turned around and looked deeply into her eyes. I had to go home, but I didn't want to leave Aerin. "It's only a few hours Seth…" she said laughing._

_I kissed her. Passionately. I just had a bad feeling about all of this. She pushed away. "Just go Seth… you'll miss your flight." she said._

_I turned to leave when the thought hit me. "Aerin, can I use your cell phone, one last time?" I asked, giving her the patented Cohen 'pity me' look. It worked and she chuckled as she handed me the phone. Quickly I dialed home. Once again, I got the answering machine, and it only made me worry more._

"_Mom… dad… I'm coming home. I'm on Oceanic Flight 815… I'll be home by… well I'm not very good with time zones, but I'll be home soon. Please forgive me…" I hung up and Aerin took her cell phone back._

"_You're going to miss your plane silly," she laughed, her accent coming out quite well._

_Once again, I nodded and proceeded my way through the security check, trying not to upset myself. This seemed so familiar, but last time… Anna was leaving and I was looking through the glass. Now Aerin was looking at me._

_She waved goodbye and I waved as well. Then I turned around and headed towards the gate. There was no turning back now._

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"Seth… Seth are you okay!" I heard my dad saying urgently as he shook my shoulders.

"Yeah, fine…" I said, blinking a few times. What had just happened? I hadn't thought of that moment in a while. Wow, that was a really long time ago.

"You were in a daze Seth…" Charlie said.

"I was… remembering…" I said, a bit disbelieving it myself.

"Remembering?" Charlie and Claire asked at the same time.

"I already remembered this memory," I said quickly.

"Oh," Claire said, sounding a little disappointed. The two of them had been pushing for me to remember stuff that had happened on the island that I obviously didn't remember and obviously didn't want to remember or I would have remembered them.

Everyone was silent for the next few seconds before the man over the PA announced that our flight was boarding.

I was gonna die.

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They got me on the plane with virtually no problems. Of course, they gave me a middle seat. Right in-between mom and dad. Donnie was sitting next to my mom, but she was holding him. I was surprised at everything I was taking in.

I mean, my hands had a death grip on the handles of the chair, and I was pleading with myself to calm down or I just felt like something bad was going to happen.

I wanted off. Now. I didn't care anymore. I wanted off the plane. I was beginning to make myself sick.

"Calm down Seth, it'll all be over soon, I promise. We'll be walking off this plane and you'll be saying how stupid you were for ever being so terrified," I heard my dad's calm and steady voice penetrating into my head, silencing the panicking one in my head if only for a second.

My breaths were deep and ragged as I tried to take in what my dad said and make myself believe it. But the last time I was on a plane, I almost died! I could have died. I was on an island for who knows how long! I could still be there!

"We'll… we'll see when we get there…" I said somewhat bitterly.

I felt my dad put something in my hand. Slowly, my eyes opened to see a water bottle. "Drink some, it'll help you calm down…" I looked at him as if he were from another planet, but slowly opened the bottle and began to drink some.

It was cold going down my throat and had quite an odd taste to it, but I was thirsty, and it was helping me to calm down.

My breathing finally steadied out for what seemed like the first time since we entered the airport. Maybe this wasn't going to be all that bad.

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It felt like forever that we were sitting there, waiting for the plane to take off. I began to get bored. Dad must have drugged the water or something because while I still had this horrible feeling deep down inside of me, I wasn't showing the fear as bad as I was before.

Slowly, I felt my eyelids drooping. I opened them sharply. I wasn't going to fall asleep. The last time I fell asleep on a plane it crashed and 15 out of the 175 people on the plane survived. It was scary. No, I wasn't… I wasn't…

I felt the calm serenity of sleep taking me over, and I couldn't fight it. The sleep took over me and I fell into the peaceful sleep.

Maybe I'd sleep through the whole flight.

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"_You all everybody…" The music was blasting in my ears as Shannon shook the hell out of my arm. She pulled the headphones away from my ears. What the hell? Shannon, Boone? What were they doing here? Boone was dead. Shannon was back home with Sawyer. _

_She shook my arm even harder._

_I looked up. The yellow oxygen masks. God I could sleep through anything, couldn't I? Where were mom and dad? And Donnie? And Charlie and Claire. Oh God, this was scary. The damn plane was crashing again. I told him I was going to die! _

_Quickly, I reached out and grabbed the oxygen mask, securing it over my face. _

_What was going on? I heard screams, I heard shouts. Everything was shaking. People were shouting for help. I heard people crying. I felt myself being sucked down. The plane was obviously crashing, that was for damn sure._

_What had I done to deserve this? I heard something rip, something heavy rip. It wasn't like the now familiar sound of seats ripping out. It was something else. Slowly, I turned my head around as I felt myself now being sucked backwards. I grabbed onto the seat in front of me like Shannon and Boone had. _

_This was it. I was going to die. I heard screams around me. And it wasn't an "Oh my God the plane is crashing!" scream. They were "Holy shit I was just sucked out of the back of the plane." screams. _

_I was terrified. My eyes shut, and I tried to block everything out. What was I going to do? I was going to die. Yes, I was going to die. And I'd never see my family again, even though they were supposed to be on the plane with me._

_But the plane was going down. Shannon began shrieking. I would have hit her if I wasn't afraid that I was going to die. My brain was doing the same thing that Shannon was voicing. Everything began going numb. I was holding on for dear life, but my grip was loosening. I was going to die. _

_Suddenly, everything was up in a flash of bright light._

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"Seth, wake up, please!" I heard my mother whispering urgently as my eyes groggily opened. What had happened? I heard myself groan. "Oh thank God!"

"What happened?" I asked, sitting up straight in the seat. I was still on the plane. I was dead. The plane hadn't crashed. I was alive, and my parents were right there. An odd sense of relief washed over me.

"You fell asleep," my dad said. "And you were peaceful for the longest time, but then you… you started freaking out, we didn't know what was happening. It was scary."

I blinked quite a few times. It was a dream. A memory. But it was so much clearer than I remembered it before. I mean I could see and hear everything that was going on, not just snibbits. Looking over at Charlie and Claire, I saw that they were looking at me.

"The plane…" I sighed, leaning back in the seat and looking at the 'roof' of the airplane. "The plane. It crashed," I said, sounding a bit upset as the words just flowed out of my mouth. "But it wasn't this plane. It was the other one. Everything was so clear. It was so real. It was… it was like it was happening all again."

I felt my mom put her hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, but I had done a pretty good job of actually calming myself down. The only problem was that the scene from my 'dream' replayed in my head over and over again. Like it was on repeat. It wouldn't stop. And I hated that. I hated that a lot.

Suddenly, the plane rattled a little bit and my entire body went rigid. What was that? Were we going to crash?

My dad laughed. It wasn't funny! Slowly, I felt myself being pulled forward. Oh God. He just chuckled some more.

"Welcome back to Australia!" he smiled.

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So obviously, I survived the plane ride. It helped that I slept most of the way, but I had survived it and that was all that mattered. I carried Donnie through the airport. We had a stroller, but I didn't like that thing for some reason.

We walked, and walked and walked. Passing Burger Kings and Starbucks and little magazine stands that sold stuff for an outrageous price. It was horrible. We went past security and I watched as people rushed through, only to get stopped. It was kinda funny.

It was over there on the other side that I spotted the woman. She hadn't changed a bit since Charlie and Claire's wedding. First my mom hugged her, then Claire and Charlie. I didn't know what to do. She looked like such a wreck. Heck, I'd be a wreck too!

I handed Donnie off to mom and walked over to Eliza. We looked at each other for the longest time, before she hugged me. Slowly, I eased up and returned the hug. We stayed like that for what seemed like the longest time.

It was only then that I saw the figure walking up to her. She froze. Crystal blue eyes, long reddish brown hair. But that didn't change the fact that the girl, who I hadn't seen since the day of the crash, was standing right there, in the airport.

Aerin. This wasn't gonna be good?

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A/n: And for any confusion, the 'dream' was actually a more detailed description of the plane crash, since he didn't remember much of it before. Only bits and pieces of the plane crash up to after he woke up not remembering anything.

IY-ROX - Yes, Donnie is a boy… He is going to be two…

Swede85 - I'm tryin'

Volvic - Wow, are you psychic?

DeuCu628 - I'm trying, but when I am writing it alone, there is no one to push me to update it. Haha.

emogeek1 - that's good.

Abby - Huh?

Harper's Pixie - Yes…


	6. Hate

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: I'm sorry it took so long to update, everything came on at once. xD

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"**Hate"**

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I let go of Eliza and my eyes met with Aerin's. Yes, it was most definitely Aerin. I should have known that she was going to be there, but I didn't want to believe it. She had left. She had given up hope.

She left Donnie. When thing got hard, she just up and ran. Just like I had. I never realized how many similarities the two of us had, and now I was once again fighting the urge to run away. I knew the hotel we were staying at. I could find out what room we were going to be in. I lived in Sydney for 2 months. I knew my way around pretty well.

I could easily run. But I didn't. I slowly walked over to her. "Long time no see," I said, forcing a smile on my face.

She smiled that smile that haunted my dreams on the island, and even back home some times. "Yeah."

Oh, this wasn't going to be awkward, no way.

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That was the most I said to Aerin until after Steve had been buried. I didn't think I could handle it, but I actually handled things quite well. Being on the island had changed me. Desensitized me one could say. But not a tear fell, not a lip quivered. It scared me a little bit.

Was this what it was like? When everyone had given up hope? They had 'buried' me, and that was just a little creepy that they would lose hope so quickly. What was it like for everyone? Mom, dad, Ryan, Summer, Aerin… Anna… what was it like for them to have to say goodbye, and then for me to just appear back, as if nothing had happened.

It must have been hard.

As hard as it was for Eliza, and Aerin and Mercedes to go through losing Steve. If I would have cried, it would have been for them. But I didn't. I couldn't. I had only met the man once, but we had clicked immediately, and if it weren't for the plane crash, I probably would have gotten to know him better.

He probably would have been my father-in-law or soon-to-be-father-in-law… but fate stepped in.

Yes, that was what it was. It had to be. Fate. It works in the oddest ways. You never knew why it did stuff, but it always worked out for the better.

It was now that I found myself sitting at Fish 'N' Fry. It was really weird. It seemed like not that long ago that I was sitting here, in this same booth, waiting for Aerin to get off of work. But it was long ago. Two years, more than that. A long time.

Funny how being someplace, experience similar things made you remember things that you didn't really want to remember.

"Is this booth taken?" someone asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up at Aerin. She had to have followed me.

"No," I said almost silently, my eyes following her as she sat down. This was so weird. I was finally getting over the fact that I was never going to see her again, and here she was. She wasn't exactly the same Aerin I remembered, but it was her.

I wanted to reach across the table and hug her. I should have at the airport. I should have at the viewing. I should have at the funeral… the burial, but something inside me told me not to. So I didn't.

The two of us sat in silence for a while, just staring at each other. The silence was unnerving. I hated it.

"Donnie got big…" Aerin finally commented. She had to bring up Donnie. Why?

"Yeah," I answered, not knowing what else to say. I didn't want to get angry. She had left Donnie because she didn't feel that she could handle it.

She couldn't handle it. Hah.

More silence. It was really weird. Fish 'N' Fry was busy, as it always was, but everything seemed silent, even though I knew it wasn't. But for once, it was just me and Aerin. Seth Cohen and Aerin Jenkins. This hadn't happened since that fateful morning on August 15th, 2005… all those years ago.

It made me so uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Seth…" Aerin said, choking back a sob. Wait where did that come from?

"Excuse me?" I asked.

She just stared at me. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "I shouldn't have left. But… but…"

I wanted so badly to interrupt her to tell her it was okay. But it wasn't. It wasn't okay.

"I couldn't handle it."

Unfortunately, I snapped. "You couldn't handle it? You couldn't handle it?" I said, getting angrier and more upset with each word. "Don't tell me that you couldn't handle it. For over a year my life was hell! HELL! I was on some God-forsaken spit of land for over a year… with this stinging feeling that I was never going to see anyone I cared about ever again!" I should have stopped there, but I didn't. I just kept going.

"I just had this feeling that I was never going to see YOU, I was never going to see my family. I wanted so badly to just die! I dreamt every night about you, or about Ryan, or Summer, or everyone! And I almost went crazy. Ask Charlie, ask Claire. Ask anyone else who survived that damn plane crash! I couldn't handle it!"

I wanted to just stand up and leave. But I didn't. I just stood there, looking at her face. I had loved her once. But that was a long time ago. Tears fell freely down her face. I felt bad, but deep down, I knew that she deserved it. I know her father just died, and that I was being way too hard on her. But that wasn't the point.

"I-I-I'm sorry Seth," she stuttered slightly. I just kept my eye contact with her, trying to get rid of the burning feeling that had grown in my chest. But I couldn't. How could I have allowed myself to get so angry was beyond me.

"How long? How long did it take after the crash for you to give up all hope that I was even alive? How long Aerin?"

She choked back a sob. "Never. I never gave up hope Seth. Everyone else did, but I didn't. All I had to do was look at Donnie and I saw you. I looked at your parents, your family and I saw memories of you…"

"Then why did you run away? Did you hate me? Did you run because you didn't want to be reminded of me?"

"Why did I run? Why? Because Seth! Because everyone was telling me how idiotic I was to think you were still alive! I was trying. I couldn't move on because I just knew that you were still alive, but I had to. Everyone was saying it, and I had to make myself believe. I had to make myself _forget_ about you…"

"Yeah, well you did a pretty good job of it… I tried to find you, God knows I took so much to try and find you, and you obviously didn't want to be found! Didn't you watch the news? It was all over it. The survivors of the infamous crash of Oceanic Flight 815 found…"

Aerin was silent. I was being such an asshole, wasn't I? I felt so bad. But I wasn't showing that. I was only showing the anger that seemed to have welled up inside of me. She took a deep breath. "You weren't there Seth. I was there! You weren't. I thought… I thought you were dead."

"Yeah well, I might as well be…" I snapped before getting up to leave. I couldn't handle this anymore. We were leaving tomorrow, and then I'd never have to see Aerin again, I'd never have to think of her again.

I stormed out of the Fish 'N' Fry in an angry rage. It was only when I was in the rental car that I finally broke down. All the hate, all the anger, all the fear that had been stored up inside of me since we got to Sydney finally let itself out.

I cried. I sobbed. I cried for Steve. I cried for Aerin. I cried for Eliza and Mercedes. Everything that had come crashing down on me had finally broken me. I hated this feeling. The feeling of being useless, hopeless, a person no one liked and everyone hated. That was how I felt. Hated.

Hated by Aerin, hated by everyone.

Hated by myself. Why had I done this to myself? Why couldn't I have just stayed cool and calm and relaxed in there instead of making the poor girl feel even worse.

I was such an idiotic… moronic… asshole. I'd never forgive myself for this. Ever. I felt like beating the shit out of the car, just taking out all my hatred and anger out on it. But I reminded myself… it was a rental car. It was a rental car.

I shouted loudly, trying to vent my frustration. I couldn't believe that I was here, in Australia, with Aerin. Everything was going to be perfect again. Like the crash never happened. Like I never got news that Ryan had 'died.'

I was supposed to be happy! Coming back here. But I wasn't. I was lonely, cold and miserable. And I hated that! I hated it so much! I wanted to make the bad feeling go away. I wanted to go in there beg Aerin to forgive me. It was a temporary lapse of insanity. I couldn't help it!

But it was too late for that. I had already majorly fucked things up. And there was nothing I could do to fix it.

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A knock at the car window brought me out of my anger-filled break down. Slowly, I took a few deep breaths and hit the button for the automatic lock.

The door slowly opened and I saw Aerin. Her face stained with the lines of dried tears. But I saw a smile forming on her face when she looked at me. Why was she smiling? Why?

"How did I know you were going to come out here and do this?" she said with a forced giggle. I felt a small smile forming on my face. Damn it.

"I don't know, how?" I asked in return.

She giggled, but this time, it wasn't forced. "Move over Seth, I'll drive you back to the hotel…"

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The drive was an awkward one. I had just lashed out that the poor girl, and now she was driving me home? What had I ever done to her to make her 'love' me? I never deserved her. Ever. In a million years.

If I would have done that to Summer, gee, I would have been killed, not been driven home. Aerin was a special girl. That was for sure.

"I'm sorry," I said finally, breaking the silence that had filled nearly the entire way there. Yes, we were almost at the hotel. And I was feeling so bad about things. Everything.

"Don't worry about it," Aerin said, keeping her eyes on the road, not even turning to look at me. I was pathetic, wasn't I? Here I was, Seth Cohen, curled up in the passenger seat of a car after a break down after flipping out at the girl who was now driving me home. That was weird. Very weird.

"No… I shouldn't have flipped out on you. It was wrong, and mean, and I really shouldn't have done that. I guess I was just angry at a lot of things, and I just totally ripped you apart."

A deep breath made me stop the words from flowing out of my mouth. "Yeah, I guess you shouldn't have…"

"No. It's just… I come home from being rescued and everything is different. I find out I have a son, that I didn't even want… no offense… my brother married my ex-girlfriend… my parents were still together… heck my brother was _alive_. But you weren't there. You weren't anywhere. It was hard…"

"I know Seth… I know…" she said quietly as we pulled into the parking lot at the hotel. She turned the car off and turned to look over at me. She was so beautiful. Even if she had dyed her hair, she was still the same Aerin. Beautiful, understanding… perfect.

But I didn't deserve her. No, never in a million years.

We just looked at each other in silence. I blinked a few times. I still didn't want to believe that this was Aerin. I had seen her face so many times in my dreams, and now we were in the car. Alone.

"I guess this is goodbye then," I said quietly.

"Yeah. I guess." She responded, just as quietly. I felt a small spark. Like the first time I had met her. But it was small. It wasn't anything anymore. But I listened to that instinct and leaned in. She did too.

We met in the middle. At first it was just a simple kiss, but it escalated to more than that. Aerin pushed me away. "No Seth. It's over between us, okay… I just don't think I could take the fact that I had tried to forget about you. So let's just leave it at friends, okay?" she said.

I nodded a hard nod and slowly opened the car door. "Take the car back to Fish 'N' Fry, we'll pick it up in the morning," I said, actually sounding quite upset.

"Okay," Aerin said with a nod.

Once again, we just stared at each other for the longest time. "I guess this is really goodbye," Aerin said.

"Yeah," I responded. Wow, we were turning into a broken record. "Bye…"

"Bye…"

Although my mind told me not to, I closed the car door. Aerin rolled down the window as I began to walk into the hotel. "And don't get stuck on another island, okay?" she said with a smile.

"Will do," I said a genuine smile forming on my face as I gave her a thumbs up.

It was goodbye. I'd never see Aerin again, and I knew it. She no longer wanted to be a part of my life. And I had already cut her out of mine.

Home was calling. And Aerin wasn't there.

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A/n: I got a book on philosophy… I like it… teeheehee… Sorry if that was a little weird. It was a little weird to write…

Harper's Pixie - It wasn't as hard on Seth as it was on Aerin. Teeheehee… stupid puta!

IY-ROX - School being out means… free time! So I don't use writing stories as a procrastination tool. Which is why the updates aren't as often. It does make sense…

Draconius Harold Weasley - trying to combine everything there? xD. Glad you like it!

Swede85 - Haha… that would be really creepy!

emogeek1 - Haha. I hate Aerin… and I almost created her… haha! Aerin was actually Ali, but I gave her the name… haha… and Aerin was pretty much mainly written by Ali too… haha!


	7. Regret

**Discovering Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: This is short, and I may actually update it now that I've gotten past the harder parts of writing.

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"**Regret"**

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The next morning, I found myself on the early flight back to L.A. with mom and dad and Donnie. Charlie and Claire had decided on staying a little longer.

The good thing was that I wasn't as uncomfortable on the plane as I was before. No. I was slowly getting back into the mindset that the plane crashing was a one in a million chance, and that planes normally don't just fall out of the sky.

After I had convinced myself of that, I was pretty good. Donnie sat on my laugh after we got to a good cruising altitude. He seemed to like flying, even though he did seem to have a pretty good disliking of Australia.

Not that I cared. It wasn't like I was going to go back there again. The only reason for me to go back there was because I finally figured out where Aerin was. But I had seriously screwed up with that whole situation. I could have handled it better. I could have been nicer. Maybe Aerin would actually still be talking to me.

But we both knew that neither of us could really be together. So we just cut each other out of our lives. It kinda sucked in a way. To know that we were once so in love with each other, now the Pacific Ocean separated us physically and neither of us wanted anything to do with each other anymore.

I sighed quietly. Donnie was sleeping, I didn't wanna wake him. Donnie. That was another confusing point. I had taken him out there because his grandfather had died, even though he didn't know the man. I had never expected him to reject Aerin like he did.

Mom let Aerin hold him quite a few times, but every time it was the same. He was fine for a while, then all of a sudden he would start crying very loudly and screaming for me. I couldn't really understand why. Aerin was his mother. Aerin was the one that was always there for him when I was on the island.

But she had left him too. It was all very confusing, and making my head spin, so I stopped thinking about it. I tried to stop thinking about Aerin, but she seemed to be the one thing stuck in my mind, and I couldn't get it out.

At least I wasn't seeing the plane crash over and over again in my head. That would have sucked.

Yeah, that would have sucked a lot.

My eyes looked down at Donnie. He was me. There was no question about it. The only thing Donnie got from Aerin was her beautiful blue eyes. Everything else was me. Down to a tee. It was scary in some ways. I didn't want to have to think about it, but it was always there, screaming at me.

Yelling at me for being a moron.

Yes, that was what I was. A moron.

I was beginning to regret even going to Australia.

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Seven hours into the flight, I was beginning to get a bad feeling deep down inside of me that I couldn't explain. By now mom and dad had fallen asleep as well, and I was the only one awake. I didn't want to sleep.

Last two times I slept on a plane it crashed, or I had a horrible memory relapse of the crash. I didn't want that to happen. Not at all.

That was when I noticed it. A small piece of paper in the pocket on the overalls that Eliza had given Donnie. I blinked a few times, trying to figure out a way to get it out without waking the sleeping boy up. The way he was, anything I would do would wake him up.

But curiosity got the better of me and I quick reached down with two fingers and pulled it out. Donnie moved slightly, but stayed asleep.

Good.

I slowly unfolded the paper and looked at in. Aerin's beautiful cursive flowed out across the paper, only faltering in some areas.

I forced myself to read it.

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_Seth._

_I know that you probably hate me. I can feel the anger just when I look at you. But I really don't think you realize how hard it was on everyone you left behind to get over the fact that you were gone. I was only one of the people affected by it, but I was hit the hardest. _

_I was stuck in a place I knew nothing about, surrounded by everything and everyone that ever meant anything to you, except for you. You were gone Seth, and that was hard to come to grips with. Then Donnie came and everything began falling apart. _

_No one else saw what was going on but me. They had lost hope. They had buried you. But I didn't believe them. I knew you were alive, but the chances of that were slim to none and it was driving me nuts._

_I had to go someplace where I could convince myself that you were gone, but I never truly believed that. Then news came of the survivors found, and Claire was there. You should have seen how happy I was. But then everyone left and I was stuck there alone. You weren't there. No one else came out._

_Your parents thought the same thing. You hadn't survived._

_So I erased you. I should have talked to Claire. She would have told me that you were alive. But the first time I heard it was when I came home and mum told me. I was happier than you could believe. I hated myself for leaving Donnie there and trying to give up hope like that, but I knew I couldn't see you because you were going to be so angry at me._

_But I know that you're not all that angry or you wouldn't have kissed me like that last night. But I need to get out of the car. Mercedes is here. Hopefully Kirsten put this in Donnie's overalls like I asked._

_If you're reading this, then she obviously she did. She's amazing Seth, you're so lucky you have her as a mother. I swear! _

_But anyways. We probably won't see each other again, and that sucks. Who knows, maybe we will bump into each other sometime again. Whatever fate has in store for us I guess._

_But it was nice seeing you again. _

_Love,_

_Aerin…_

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Just reading it brought tears to my eyes, and I didn't know why. Just thinking about Aerin and how I had overreacted last night. It made me feel like a piece of shit.

No, I was a piece of shit.

I was worse than a piece of shit.

Slowly, I folded the letter up and put in my pocket.

This was going to be a long flight.

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A/n: Aerin WILL be back!

DeuCe628 - Haha. Originally the last two chapters were supposed to be one and I wrote them at the same time. It was quite odd.

Swede85 - No, Seth is not gonna hook up with Summer, she's married to Ryan. That would be mean!

The Pirate Illusionist - It was sad, wasn't it?

IY-ROX - Have fun… this'll probably be updated like… once… xD

Harper's Pixie - I'm sorry! Yes, more dramaish… I hate the end of this story… haha, I haven't even written it yet.

emogeek1 - Yes, well I didn't come up with her, so… and I hate Marissa too… wait, she's not in the story too much, nevermind. Seth and Anna? Heck no… Seth and Shannon. Shannon is soooo reserved for Sawyer! And Ryan and Summer will come back… HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Volvic - Aerin isn't gone…


End file.
